A poem today, readers! Blake Biskner has a chuckle at Hollywood’s sloppy storytelling– a great start to the morning for everyone who remembers Blockbuster. Treat yourself to Cine Malebolge.

Midway upon the journey of life
I faced an adventure fraught with much strife.
Through hell I did venture and back again,
A trip not for children, only for men.
But the venue I entered was not Dante’s abyss,
There was no Acheron no City of Dis
It was a place most foul, ‘twas a rancid realm
Wherein there were punished sinners of film.

The quest began on a typical day
One devoid of excitement, I had nothing to play.
At the request of my mother I tidied my room,
Scooping up all my trash, not needing a broom.
When all of a sudden, under my bed,
I spotted an item that filled me with dread
Something that had vanished under my mess
In need of return… A rented VHS.