The Alternative Top 40

1.) Crocodile Carnival & the Lost Bois

2.) Nostalgic Nascent & the Brita Filters

3.) Indecent Davis & the Drop Foots

4.) Stuffed Snake & the Ferris Wheels

5.) Albino Rhino & the Pencil Necks

6.) Fast Eduardo & the Pheasant Hunters

7.) Graceful God & the Slip Rugs

8.) Purple Robe & the Tuck-Ins

9.) Sniper Christ & the Shell Casings

10.) Skull Gutter & the Hearing Aids

11.) Mad Scientist & the Clean Water Crises

12.) Brown Jizzum & the Bedside Manners

13.) Somali Pirate & the Surfer Skiffs

14.) Hindu DUI & the Clouded Third Eyes

15.) Mr. Leafblower & the Soul Saunas

16.) Puddle of Piss & the Wake-up Calls

17.) Septic Pussy & the Pugilists

18.) Athlete’s Foot & the Hands

19.) Red Riding Hood & the Dragon Wagons

20.) Daily Dose & the Del Tacos

21.) Jalapeño Oil & the Perineums

22.) Fecal Transfer & the French Fries

23.) Oxycodone & the Bridge to New Beginnings

24.) El Jefe’s Forest & the Fungi

25.) Burnt Tongue & the Chewed on Cheeks

26.) Online Gambling & the Fantasias

27.) Druggy Buggy & the Gun Turrets

28.) Robitussin & the Rednecks

29.) Contactless Delivery & the Dominoes

30.) Mrs. Midnight & the Moors

31.) Anaphylaxis & the Magicians

32.) Elitist Genius & the Bar Exams

33.) Depression Restaurant & the Eating Disorders

34.) Dolph Lundgren & the Gatorade Bottles

35.) Fruit of the Loom & the Rotting Loins

36.) Gotham City & the American Gypsies

37.) Cotton Candy & the Sunsets

38.) Reverberation & the Funny Bones

39.) Luke Warm & the Coffee Cups

40.) Kids’ Meal & the Cum Guzzlers

XXX

Charles J. March III is a hospital corpsman veteran currently living in California. His work has appeared in Evergreen Review, Chicago Tribune, L.A. Times, 3:AM Magazine, Atlas Obscura, Expat Press, etc. More can be found at LinkedIn & SoundCloud.

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